When you prioritize God’s voice above all others and honor His word, He opens doors for your children you never knew were there and could not have opened by yourself.

This has happened so many times for our family! One example I can think of right now pertains to basketball, which we love and which our oldest son seemed to have a natural gift for.

You know how many parents push and shove and manipulate the system to get their kids a place to be positioned in sports? Whew! CRAZY folks! And its not just sports…

We started Elty (Elton McMillan III) on a team when he was five years old and he was so much fun to watch! He was on our local kid’s club teams and school teams. His daddy coached him some times and made some sweet memories. As our kids got older, God began asking us to do things that were time-consuming and lifestyle-changing. We started homeschooling, moved to Africa for a year, my husband had a major job change, I had a kidney transplant, we started running a private school; things like that. Just life! Our kids were right there with us serving and working hard and being understanding that there was just not enough left in us at the end of the day to pursue sports. We just pulled back.  There were times when Elty wanted to go to Basketball camps but we just couldn’t stretch our money to do it.

As a parent you feel like everyone else is putting their kids in the best position to succeed, and you want to be that parent!  We often talked about the fact that God was providing for his future in amazing ways that we couldn’t see at the time.
By the time he reached High-School it seemed like his training consisted of  a lot of one-on-one on the driveway, but we signed him up for try-outs on our local public High-school team.

It was amazing! He was chosen to be the starting point guard and he lead his team to State! (Oregon, 3A) He also went to state finals in triple-jump and high-jump with the track team. I just sat on the bench time after time and watched God be powerful on our behalf. I was one proud mama! The best part was the smile on his face when he ran down the court or flopped over the high bar. I know that his faith in his God was strengthened as he realized that God cares about his dreams!

As parents, there are things we just cannot or will not afford our children, and there are opportunities we can’t manipulate for them, but God is faithful!  When we put HIS will above our own, and teach our children to do the same, He opens doors we haven’t even considered. He treats our children royally for His name sake. This is yet another example of how God partners with us in our parenting, and how we can teach our children to partner with us in faith. It is amazing to watch them begin to reap the blessing of being a righteous man or woman themselves.

I encourage you to do this little Bible study from Psalms and Proverbs with your children and find out what some of those blessings are. Wisdom is speaking truth here!

Psalm 37:16

A little that a righteous man has is better than the riches of many wicked.

When the Bible says someone is wicked, it means anyone who is hostile toward God, the opposite of righteous. So, what DOES the righteous have that is better than the riches of many wicked?

• Blessing and favor that protects and beautifies (Psalm 5:12)
• Salvation, strength in trouble (Psalm 37:39)
• He will never be shaken, he will be remembered (Psalm 112:6)
• Blessings crown his head (Proverbs 10:6)
• He is given a good name (Proverbs 10:7)
• An everlasting foundation (Proverbs 10:25)
• He is established and cannot be moved (Proverbs 12:3)
• He leaves his children an inheritance (Proverbs 13:22)
• A refuge when he dies (Proverbs 14:32)

…That isn’t to say that we didn’t want to, but sometimes we just couldn’t. A good example of this is when our kids were age 1, 2, 6 and 7 we moved to Liberia. They were uprooted from their friends and their grandparents, we lived in third-world country and a war-torn city with very little security and we drank un-sanitized water, just to name a few hazards. If all our decisions were made by “doing what was best for our children” we would have never gone. But we made this decision based on obedience to the voice of God.

He told us to move there, and then He told us to move home 9 months later. It was a challenging time, but as it turns out, it was the gift that keeps on giving. We learned so much about obeying God and trusting Him and we have been able to pass that on to our children. We have all been broadened, deepened and grown immeasurably from this one experience of walking by faith as a family.

So, the big worry might be that if I’m not looking out for my kids first, who is going to? God will! Think about it this way, there is peace and security in the family when God is in control and the parents and children line up and follow God together; and it doesn’t end there! God is an attentive God. He watches us closely to see our response of faith and obedience to Him and He strategizes to bless our children.

Here is a little discussion you can have with your kids while you talk about following God. This is a great verse to memorize as a family. It will help your kids remember how you make decisions at your house as you get everyone lined up and follow God together!

Proverbs 20:7

 The righteous man walks in his integrity;
His children are blessed after him.

1. Who is this righteous man? Those whom God has justified because of their faith (Genesis 15:6)
2. What does it mean to walk in integrity? To follow God in conduct and character.
3. Who is the blessing secured for? His children
4. What are the children doing in this verse? Following the righteous man.

Nope. Not a fan.

First of all, I hate fear. It is an irrational tormentor that debilitates the soul and paralyzes dreams. Fear makes you live with the effects of a trauma that may have NEVER happened. It does this by attaching the little word “Yet” to everything. “You haven’t failed…YET”. “You have not been forgotten…YET!” Yeah. Slipping in that little doubt that God cannot keep His word and cannot be trusted. Fear is a liar and a cheat, robbing us of our security in God.

God hates it too. While He is speaking words of provision, promise and protection, fear offers people dread instead. When they drink it, they get death where life should be. This is not what God had in mind when He talked about faith being the evidence of things not yet seen! Fear is faith; faith in the enemy’s lies. Getting rid of fear starts with repentance for drinking the Kool-Aid!

Fear is opportunistic. If you have a trauma, fear moves in to capitalize like an infection in a wound. Those who have lived with this know how real it is. Forgiving those who hurt us is a good start…but fear even finds a way to affect little children who have never had a bad thing happen to them in their entire lives! How does he manage that? The same way he gets the rest of us. He lies! No big surprise there!

Too close to home…

My son Avery (number three out of four kids in our family) was happy and easy going for the first two years of his life. He had some minor things happen to him that I believe the enemy really exploited. We were living in a missionary apartment on the third floor of our church while we were waiting for travel visas to go to Liberia, West Africa. I had put Avery down for a nap and ran down to the first floor to put a load of laundry in the dryer. When I returned to the stairwell I could hear him crying. He sounded pitiful. I climbed the stairs and found him sitting on the top step. He said “You went to Africa!” I said “No! No! We didn’t go to Africa without you! We would never ever do that! We are not going to leave you! NEVER! Mommy is so sorry!”

Unbeknownst to me, fear had just found a little victim and sank its teeth in. Avery began to suffer from anxiety. He became clingy. Nap times were HORIBLE. Night time was worse. We didn’t notice anything else right away, but gradually over the years he became fearful of leaving us, being introduced to people, the dark, trying new things, going new places, being forgotten, failing in school, and the list goes on. He acted like he had been abused and neglected…and he had never been. Never. It was not fun.

I remember that even as a 5^th grader he would come into our room in the middle of the night just to see us for a minute. He was always tired from not getting enough sleep. He was really good at athletics and other things, but he just wanted to stay home. I prodded, I begged, I prayed, I counseled, I explained, I supported, I insisted …nothing. “Why don’t you want to?” “I don’t know!” was his only answer. Fear was louder and more convincing. Avery wouldn’t budge. Grrrrr.

Somehow we have to get the upper hand.

Then one day when I was pulling weeds in the yard and I got a phone call that Avery needed to come home from school early. He had a stomach ache. He probably had a test that day…they usually made him feel sick. I started getting ticked off.

This kid needs to stay in school! This is a huge annoyance and inconvenience to our lives! Avery is supposed to have opportunity and influence as a child of God and he won’t even leave the house! This is INSANE! I started crying out to the Lord. “This is not Your will! You have not given us a spirit of fear!”

Wait. A Spirit? “HOW DARE YOU????”

I immediately began turning my wrath on this enemy and accusing the Spirit of Fear “You are robbing my son of opportunities that the LORD has given him! I rebuke you in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ! Fear, you leave my son right now! I don’t care how you got your foot in the door; I am closing it with authority that was given us by God…I bind Fear in Jesus’ name and I loose the peace of God over my son!” 

I called it out by every name I could think of. “Fear of people, GO! Fear of death, GO! Fear of darkness, GO! Fear of sleeping, GO! Fear of rejection, GO! Fear of sickness, GO! Fear of failure, GO! Fear of the unknown, GO! Fear of change, Go! Fear of abandonment, GO! Every evil manifestation of Fear, GO! And that is when God reminded me of the incident on the steps. “I don’t care if you think you have a right! You have NO RIGHT! What you told Avery was a lie. We didn’t leave him. You planted that idea in his head! You are a liar and a thought caster.” By now I was seething because I felt so ripped-off. “I command you to go in Jesus name.”…and I started all over again. I remember asking the Lord to help Avery to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I would need to teach him that for sure.

My flower beds were weeded in record time. I raked those old thorns and weeds up and crammed them into a bucket. Don’t mess with a mother!

My husband dropped our son off with me. I asked Avery to stay in the yard and help me get the weeds into the chicken coop. He was surprised because coming home from school early usually buys you a trip to your bed! By this time I was feeling the peace of God and I just started thanking Jesus for the power we have in His name. Avery had no idea I had just been fighting for his life.

Out of the clear blue?

Suddenly Avery said, “Mom, I’m not going to come into your room at night any more. I don’t have to. I’m not trying to get away from anything anymore. I don’t even know why I was doing that. I really just wanted to sleep. Now I’m going to.” Shaking with amazement, I was speechless. I just asked “Why?” “Something left me in the car on the way home from school. I thought I threw-up but I didn’t see anything and then I just knew I was safe.” We stood out in the front yard and hugged.

When he went around the corner with a bucket of yard debris I watched him until he was out of sight. Then I sat down and cried. Dread is dead. Love wins again. Wow, I love You, Jesus!

Epilogue

Avery Bruce, whose name means “fearless” and “secure”, has never been tormented with fear or anxiety again. He is bold and courageous and is an upright influence on his peers. He loves school and adventure. He is a soft spoken, but very confident young man of 15 and Elton and I are so proud of him.

Avery has often told me that he wants to build me a house in his back yard when he grows up…I know what you are thinking! It is NOT so we never leave him. He said it is so Elton and I have a place to live in between our mission’s trips to Africa, India and other lands. He also wants to be the Chief Financial Officer of We Choose Virtues someday…so he can fund all these trips. Watch out for him! Good things are yet to come!

In conclusion, we don’t have to let the Devil walk all over us and steal, kill and destroy. We were given life…and sometimes we have to fight for it with the weapons of our warfare that are not carnal, but mighty to the tearing down of strongholds. Amen!

Destroy….F.E.A.R.

Forgive anyone who has hurt you with the help of the Holy Spirit!

Engage the enemy with the truth of the word of God (see italicized verses in the post above)

Ask God to show you the open doors that fear is coming in though. Get rid of Fear’s opportunity!

Repent for doubting God’s provision, promise and protection.