Posted on Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Biblical Examples of Perseverance

Moses perseverant in battle

Exodus 17:9-13 says,

“So Moses said to Joshua, ‘Choose men for us and go out, fight against Amalek. Tomorrow I will station myself on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand.’ Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought against Amalek; and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set. So Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.”

Nehemiah persevered in building the wall

Nehemiah 2:19 – 13:31

The Perseverance of Love

1 Cor 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. NIV

Heb 11:24-28

24 By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. 26 He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. 27 By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. NIV

James 5:10-11

10 Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. NIV

The Church in Ephesus

Rev 2:1-3

“To the angel of the church in Ephesus write:

These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands: 2 I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3 You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. NIV

Posted on Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Books about being Perseverant

Perseverant…

The Little Engine That Could

~ by Watty Piper

Overview “I think I can! I think I can!” This well-loved classic tale of the Little Blue Engine who isn’t afraid to try has and will continue to inspire and entertain generations of children. Although he is not very big, the Little Blue Engine agrees to try to pull a stranded train full of toys over the mountain.

Today I Will Fly! (Elephant and Piggie Series)

~ by Mo Willems

Overview Gerald is careful. Piggie is not. Piggie cannot help smiling. Gerald can. Gerald worries so that Piggie does not have to. Gerald and Piggie are best friends. Today, I Will Fly! is the funny introduction to the characters. Piggie is determined to fly. But Gerald the elephant knows that’s impossible–isn’t it?

Carrot Seed

~ by Ruth Krauss, Crockett Johnson (Illustrator)

Overview Everyone is certain it won’t grow, but a little boy remains confident in his carrot seed’s potential. Watch as he carefully plants, tends to, and eventually harvests a carrot whose size is in direct proportion to his unflappable faith in it. Despite everyone’s dire predictions, a little boy has faith in the carrot seed he plants.

Otto Goes to the Beach

~ by Todd Parr

Todd Parr takes the frustration out of finding new friends in this sunshiny picture book starring Otto! When “Poor Otto” decides that he doesn’t like staying home by himself, the dog hops in his car and zooms off to the beach. The pooch then tries to get some quality time with other beachcombers, but the crab he meets is just too crabby to build a sand castle, and a surfing cat laughs at him when his bathing suit falls off. Fortunately, though, Otto meets a purple poodle who’s busy digging up bones, and the two spend fun time together swimming and balancing beach balls on their noses. With a super-friendly message about not getting down (“there is always someone out there who will like to play with you”) and his brilliantly electric artwork, Parr delivers a winning pick-me-up that will leave kids confident and refreshed. Matt Warner

I Believe in You

~ by Marianne Richmond

“Whether it’s sunny or stormy, whether you’re happy or blue, I’m here to say, without a doubt that I believe in you. “I Believe in You explores the powerful feeling in every parent’s heart as you watch a child take on the big job of growing up. This inspiring and meaningful book puts into words the little moments that reveal just how much you believe in them, no matter what life throws their way. Growing up is a roller coaster ride of emotion and adventure, asking a child to show self-confidence and courage that they may not know they have. Showing you will be by their side can mean the world to them and give them the strength they often so desperately need. Award-winning author and illustrator Marianne Richmond uses her signature uplifting style to show that your support and unconditional love is always there as children navigate the road of life. I Believe in You encourages kids to look within to find they have all they need to succeed-and to know they always have someone cheering them on.

Posted on Friday, January 17, 2014

Bible Verses on Being Perseverant

Bible Verses About Perseverance- Perseverance is vital to growing in your faith, and God wants his people to persevere no matter what happens, so we have to learn how to overcome obstacles, difficulties, trials, and tribulation to experience victory in Christ.

From: http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/perserverance-bible-verses/

Prov 6:1-5 1 My child, if you have put up security for a friend’s debt or agreed to guarantee the debt of a stranger—2 if you have trapped yourself by your agreement and are caught by what you said—3 follow my advice and save yourself,for you have placed yourself at your friend’s mercy. Now swallow your pride; go and beg to have your name erased. 4 Don’t put it off; do it now! Don’t rest until you do.5 Save yourself like a gazelle escaping from a hunter, like a bird fleeing from a net.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Colossians 1:11-12 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Revelation 3:10 Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come upon the whole world to test those who live on the earth.

Revelation 2:10 Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

2 Thessalonians 3:13 And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.

Ephesians 6:18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

John 15:7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

1 Corinthians 15:1 Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand.

2 Corinthians 1:21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us,

Ephesians 6:11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

2 Peter 3:15 Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him.

Hebrews 6:11 We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure.

Luke 21:19 By standing firm you will gain life.

Psalms 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2014

Run the Race with Perseverance

This lesson is from: http://www.kidsofintegrity.com/lessons/perseverance/bible-stories

Run the Race with Perseverance

Hebrews 12:1-11.

Questions for discussion

Have you ever run/biked/swum in a long race? If so, what was it like? How did you feel at the end?

Were there spectators?

What pushed you to finish, even though you were tired?

In Hebrews 12:1-2, what is living the Christian life compared to?

What would it be like to run a race wearing a heavy backpack? Or trying to race with your legs tangled in a rope?

What could “hinder” us from honoring God with our lives?

What do elite athletes do to help them perform their best?

What does the Bible suggest that we focus on to help us with our goal of living the Christian life to honor God?

Why might God allow difficult things to happen to us in our lives?

What kind of discipline do you receive from your parents?

When we are disciplined by God, what are we to do?

What does God’s discipline produce in our lives?

Key concepts

Elite athletes are very disciplined in their training, enduring strenuous practice routines, because they are focused on the goal of succeeding in their chosen sport. The Bible compares living the Christian life to running a race.

Just as running a race wearing a heavy backpack would slow a runner down, so sin gets in the way of our ability to live our lives in a way that honours God. Sin consumes our time and energy and takes our focus off God, slowing us down in our life race.

The Bible tells us that God does allow life to get difficult at times so we can be made holy. Even though God’s discipline is painful, it produces righteousness and peace. Just as elite athletes push themselves to endure pain during a race by focusing on pre‑planned thoughts and goals, we are to rely on Jesus for encouragement and strength when we are running our life race.

Posted on Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Books about being Diligent

Diligent…

Addy Saves the Day by Connie Porter

Annabelle’s Un-Birthday by Steven Kroll
Awful Thursday by Ron Roy
Book of Virtues by William Bennett
Boy Who Cried Wolf by Aesop
Boy Who Held Back the Sea by Thomas Locker
Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Brink
The Cay by Theodore Taylor
Children’s Book of Virtues by William Bennett
Cold and Hot Winter by Johanna Hurwitz
Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary
Felicia the Critic by Ellen Conford
Figment Your Dog Speaking by Laura Hawkins
Fish Face by Patricia R. Giff
Freya’s Fantastic Surprise by Hathorn
John Henry by Ezra Keats
Journey to Freedom by Courtni Wright
Liar, Liar Pants on Fire by Miriam Cohen
Like Some Kind of Hero by Jan Marino
Matilda Who Told Such Dreadful Lies by Hilaire Belloc
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh by Robert O’Brien
Pinocchio by C. Collodi
Sing Down the Moon by Scott O’Dell
Sukey and the Mermaid by Robert San Souci
Thief’s Daughter by Alan Marks
Tillie and the Wall by Leo Lionniv
The Ugly Duckling adapted by James Ertel
Undercover Tailback by Matt Christopher
Value of Determination-Story of Helen Keller by Ann Johnson
Very Busy Spider by Eric Carle
Diligence (Adventures in Odyssey Life Lessons) [Audiobook, CD] [Audio CD]
The Goose that could not fly: The saga of a late achiever By Martha Philbeck
Real Kids, Real Stories, Real Change: Courageous Actions Around the World Garth Sundem
If you know of more books and stories that would make a good addition to this list, please leave your ideas in the comments, we will check them out and add the to the list with our THANKS!

Posted on Sunday, May 5, 2013

Virtue in MAY

I love May.

It was the first month who’s name I learned to spell. They seem to be harder at both ends of the year and easier in the middle.

It was my Grandma’s middle name (Mae). Miss that lady!

Isn’t there something about April showers bringing May flowers and Mayflowers bringing Pilgrims? Yep. That’s it. I like Pilgrims.

May means spring in Oregon and no going back. Until May, winter is still a maybe.

May Day. I have some fond memories. My first go at it was the best one, mostly because I was in first grade, at my best friends house, and doing something I was sure my parents had never heard the likes of. Turned out they knew all about putting flowers on porches, ringing the bell and hiding in the shrubbery! Wow.

And then there is Mother’s Day. I am blessed with two inspiring mothers. Mine and his. I know, priceless.

The whole month of May is for motherhood. The awareness that I am a mother seems to sink in deeply like warm spring sun. I remember that I have people in my life who are depending on me to nurture them and train them and make memories with them. I remember that they love me “on my very best and very worst of days” and I do the same for them. I remember how much I love being called “mom”. It is like a blessing being bestowed on me. When the sun starts getting hotter in the middle of the summer, I need to remember May.

Motherhood is like a garden that weathers many seasons. If you are a new mother, you might not yet be over the shock that you can be so tired and so in love. So unbelievably in love. If you are a mother with children who are leaving home, you might not yet be over the shock that you could be so tired, so heartsick, so happy (and afraid?), learning to trust God more than you ever have in your life. (I guess you can tell this one is me. *sigh*)

When my oldest was about to graduate high-school, a neighbor called out to me while I was standing on my porch. He said “How are you feeling about him moving?” “I’m not really done! He’s not where I thought he needed to be by the time he moved! I’ve been agonizing over it for months, then this morning I realized that he is going to have a pastor, teachers, bosses, and eventually a wife who will come into his life to help him mature! He even has GOD to help him! I also remembered how much I have matured since I graduated from high-school and he will too!” was the reply I yelled passionately across the street! My neighbor, a professional counselor, looked at me with a concerned expression and said “Uh-huh!” and quickly took cover inside his house. Yep, true story.

Like me, no matter the end of this garden-of-motherhood you are cultivating at the moment, I’m sure you have grown right along with your children. Grown in patience, joy, and perseverance. Grown in flexibility, resourcefulness and gentleness. Grown in selflessness, kindness and humility. Motherhood might have changed you as much as it has your children. In actuality,

…Motherhood is very becoming on you. YOU are beautiful, Mother-in-May. Absolutely stunning.

Posted on Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Breaking BOSSY

I was not the first born in my family, but I was the first girl, and needless to say, I had a great affection for running the household. One of my special skills was making chores fun so my siblings would agree to do them with me (Or for me? Maybe. Sometimes.)

I adored my little sisters and loved planning outfits for them. One day, when I was twelve, my precious little six-year-old sister looked up at me and said “I don’t have to wear that. YOU’RE NOT MY MOM.” and that was the end of fashion-plates for me!

*Sigh* I might have had control issues.

As a mom who has one daughter and three sons, I discovered very early that she was quite capable of leading and they were happy to let her…unless they weren’t and then there was trouble. Been there?

I was very sick for a number of years when my kids were little. It seems like I relied on them quite a bit to help me keep the household going while daddy was working. Training them to cooperate became a necessity, but there were was a lot of selfishness, manipulating, arguing, and that sort of thing. I really wanted my kids to love each other. I wanted them to be able to lead each other. I know that to lead you must understand authority, where it comes from and how to handle it properly. I decided I needed my kids to have a deeper understanding and respect for it, and not just use it without permission.

Authority belongs to God and it is simply on loan to us. Hmmm…makes me wonder if I’m representing.

With this in mind, I came up with an idea we call “Temporary Limited Authority” and by God’s grace it has really helped our family. It goes something like this:

I have been given the authority to tell my children what to do. I’m the mom.
You (child) do not have the authority, because you are not the mom.
I might lend you a little of my authority, but first I must see you obeying me. (see Obedient Virtue). A person is qualified to lead when they learn to follow.
The authority I lend you is on a temporary basis (a certain amount of time, or a certain task) and it is limited (it only pertains to this time or task, not everything in their life that you want to dictate). This can increase or decrease depending on how you handle it.
When you have Temporary Limited Authority you must say “Mom said” at the beginning of the instruction so your brothers and sisters KNOW it is coming from mom. Then they will obey you the same way they obey me (hopefully the children are growing in this skill!)
I love my children very much and I show it by how I talk to them. You must use my authority the way I would. (see the Kind and Gentle Virtues)
In order to lead, you must be willing to follow when I lend my authority to one of your siblings. This works both ways!

Here is a scenario that might help you picture how this could work in your home. Let’s say you need the kitchen cleaned and you give your son Temporary Limited Authority to get it done.

He finds his siblings.
He tells them that “Mom said” he is in charge of getting the kitchen cleaned.
He doles out the jobs (Or you do, and then you reiterate that he is in charge)
Everyone goes to work at it. (These are jobs they already know how to do, although, I have asked my older kids to teach my youngers how to do chores)
He supervises and encourages them while he is helping get it done.
When it is done, he asks for an inspection before any of the kids leave the kitchen.
You come in and inspect the job (You can’t expect what you don’t inspect)
If there was fighting, you talk to the kids about what went wrong and help them understand how to respond to the leadership of their brother. (Sometimes we have to obey even when the leadership isn’t perfectly executed!)
You also inspect his leadership, encourage him and help him see what he could have done to reduce any conflicts. (There may be a sibling who is deliberately un-cooperative but if he wants to lead, he has to learn to win her over.)
Tell them you are proud of their effort!

It takes time to go through each step until it is working smoothly, but it is so worth it! You get help, your children become great leaders, and there is peace in your home because BOSSY is gone.

Happy Dance!

Posted on Sunday, March 10, 2013

Books about being Helpful

The Berenstain Bears: Lend a Helping Hand by Stan Berenstain and Jan Berenstain

Let Your Light Shine: A story about Helping Others by Ron Berry and Chris Sharp

The Giving Book: Open the Door to a Lifetime of Giving by Ellen Sabin

The Berenstain Bears: Think of Those in Need by Stan Berenstain and Jan Berenstain

Lend a Hand (Be Your Best) by Apryl Lundsten, Carrie Anton and Lisa Wilber

Tiger and Mouse: The Gift of Helping Others – Volume 1 by Theodore Allen Lightfoot, Julia H. Young, Elizabeth Armstrong and Phillip Armstrong

Real Kids, Real Stories, Real Change: Courageous Actions Around the World by Garth Sundem

Helping Others: The Golden Rule: The Fantastic Adventures of Terry and Andrew by Reggie Read

Lemonade: and Other Poems Squeezed from a Single Word by Bob Raczka and Nancy Doniger

Tsunami: Helping Each Other by Ann Morris and Heidi Larson

Whale Tails: Adventure Two: Helping Others by P.J. Victor, Alan Berglund and Josh McGill

The Berenstain Bears Help the Homeless By: Jan Berenstain, Mike Berenstain

This list was compiled by Sherry Andrew (the mother of Heather McMillan, creator of We Choose Virtues)

If you know of more books and stories that would make a good addition to this list, please leave your ideas in the comments, we will check them out and add the to the list with our THANKS!

Posted on Sunday, March 10, 2013

Books about being Honest

I’m Telling the Truth: A First Look at Honesty (First Look at Books)

~ By Pat Thomas

Children are shown that although being honest can be hard sometimes, it is worth it. Everyone likes people who speak the truth and keep their word. Kids learn that when we all practice being honest, the world becomes a fairer and happier place to live in. Titles in the popular “A First Look At” series for pre-school and early-grades kids explore emotional issues, encouraging children to discuss things that bother them with trusted adults. The series also helps them begin to develop basic social skills. Written by a psychotherapist and child counselor, these books promote positive interaction among children, parents, and teachers. They are written in easy-to-comprehend language, and have child-friendly illustrations on every page.

The Berenstain Bears and the Truth

~ By Stan Berenstain and Jan Berenstain

When Brother and Sister Bear accidentally break Mama’s favorite lamp, their little lie grows bigger and bigger, until Papa Bear helps them find the words that set everything right again.

Ruthie and the (Not So) Teeny Tiny Lie

~ By Laura Rankin

Ruthie loves little things–the smaller, the better. When she finds a teeny tiny toy on the school playground, she can hardly believe her luck. There’s just one problem: it belongs to somebody else! Ruthie insists the toy is hers, but deep down, she knows better. How could one little toy turn into such a great big problem?

What Do You Stand For? For Kids: A Guide to Building Character

~ By Barbara A. Lewis

Even elementary school children can build positive character traits like caring, citizenship, cooperation, courage, fairness, honesty, respect, and responsibility. The true stories, inspiring quotations, thought-provoking dilemmas, and activities in this book help kids grow into capable, moral teens and adults. Previously titled Being Your Best, this award-winning book has a fresh new cover and updated resources.

Knowing and Doing What’s Right: The Positive Values Assets (The Adding Assets Series for Kids)

~ By Pamela Espeland amd Elizabeth Verdick

Kids learn how to build the six Positive Values assets: Caring, Equality and Social Justice, Integrity, Honesty, Responsibility, and Healthy Lifestyle. Stories, tips, and ideas help them to make good choices and build positive character traits.

Little Abraham Learns a Lesson in Honesty: Honesty (American Virtues for Kids: Honesty) [Board Book]

~ By David Mead

Publication Date: January 2004 | Age Range: 4 and up | Series: American Virtues for Kids: Honesty. BOARD BOOK

Honest Abe Lincoln: Easy-to-read Stories About Abraham

~ By David A. Adler

Born into humble beginnings, Abraham Lincoln lived in a log cabin and helped run the family farm. Later he became a store clerk, postmaster, and lawyer. People liked Abe’s funny stories and kind words, and he quickly earned a reputation for his honesty, which he brought with him all the way to the White House. Newly independent readers will relish this straightforward story of the life of an American Hero.

10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids: 52 Fun and Simple Games and Activities to Teach Your Child Honesty, Trust, Love, and Other Important Values

~ By Jamie C. Miller

52 playful and easy to understand activities to help parents teach children moral lessons that they won’t forget. A child says, “I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand.” 10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids is a book about seeing and doing–a book that gives parents the ability to teach the powerful principles of honesty, trust, generosity, love, and other values. Children will discover the objectives themselves as they actively participate in fun games and activities. The games can be done in any order, with very little planning and with very few supplies–just common objects most people have around the house like toothpicks, string, pennies, or an apple. Some can be done while riding in the car, and others can be expanded to fill a whole evening with family fun. The activities in 10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids will not only create cozy and enjoyable moments of family togetherness, they will have a lasting impact on your growing child.

Big Whopper (Zigzag Kids)

~ By Patricia Reilly Giff

The author of the beloved Kids of the Polk Street School series introduces a new generation of readers to a multicultural group of kids who enjoy all the activities of an after-school center. It’s Discovery Week at the Zigzag Afternoon Center! Everyone writes their discoveries on a big sheet of paper in the hallway. But Destiny Washington can’t think of anything new to discover. Before she knows it, Destiny has told a BIG whopper. And snooty Gina, who’s great at discovering things, knows all about it. Destiny has to find a way out of the whopper. In the end, she makes the best discovery of all. In this delightful new series, award-winning author Patricia Reilly Giff introduces readers to a quirky, lovable group of kids, capturing all the excitement and surprises of new friends and after-school fun.

Max and the Big Fat Lie: A Book About Telling the Truth (Building Christian Character)

~ By Michael P. Waite

Max feels bad after he lies to his mother in order to see a scary movie. Includes a related Bible verse.

Treasury of Virtues: Courage, Love, Honesty

~ By Jennifer Boudart

Twenty well known childhood stories, each with a message about virtues. If you have small children and you want to impress upon them the importance of being virtuous, then this book is recommend.

Penny and Her Marble

~ By Kevin Henkes

When Penny spots a marble in Mrs. Goodwin’s front yard, she picks it up, puts it in her pocket, and takes it home. It’s a beautiful marble—it’s big, shiny, blue, smooth, and fast, and Penny loves it. But does the marble really belong to Penny?

Whitney Solves a Dilemma with Solomon, and Learns the Importance of Honesty

~ By Therese Johnson Borchard

Whitney would do anything to get to soccer practice, even copy a friend’s homework so she won’t have to waste time on boring Math herself. But what was supposed to be a one-time solution becomes a habit. Copying homework leads to copying a quiz–and getting caught. The teacher’s demand for a confession on who was cheating from whom puts the girls’ friendship on the line. Whitney turns to Nana’s Emerald Bible for help and gets sent back in time to King Solomon’s court. The uncanny wisdom of the king and the “wisdom” of the strange foreign girl are tested when two women come to court, both claiming to be mother of the same child. Whitney offers a solution to the king, who in turn tells Whitney what she must do in her own situation to at last make things right with both her friend and her teacher.

I Repeat, Don’t Cheat!

~ By Margery Cuyler

Jessica and her best friend Lizzie do everything together. But when Lizzie starts copying words from Jessica’s spelling test, Jessica knows it isn’t right. Then Jessica tries to help Lizzie write a poem for their homework, but Lizzie takes credit for it in class! Jessica doesn’t want to lose her friend, but she can’t take it anymore. What should she do? With simple text and engaging illustrations, young readers will relate to Jessica’s latest worry—and they’ll have a great example to follow after they see how Jessica handles her problem.

Jared and Joshua’s Whopper

~ By Alan Portmann

Author Alan Portmann uses humor, imagination, and wit in Jared and Joshua’s Whopper, telling the tale of two young brothers who exaggerate circumstances to a new level of storytelling to avoid the truth about why they were all wet to their momma. 32 pages, paperback.

Honesty (Adventures in Odyssey Life Lessons) [Audiobook, CD] [Audio CD]

This collection of previously released episodes is a great way to introduce new listeners to the characters and the early days of Adventures in Odyssey at the low price of only $5.99 each! Collect them all! Each volume features three exciting, action-packed stories. Bible stories, character-building adventures, and historical events are all fair game for object lessons in living.

30 Very Veggie Devos about Honesty (Big Idea Books / VeggieTales) [Paperback]

~ Big Idea (Creator)

This list was compiled by Sherry Andrew (the mother of Heather McMillan, creator of We Choose Virtues)

If you know about more books and stories that would make a good addition to this list, please leave your ideas in the comments, we will check them out and add the to the list with our THANKS!

Posted on Sunday, March 10, 2013

The Reason for Two Ears (Thoughts for parents about being Attentive)

I am one of those lovely people who like to talk. This was confirmed by both parents and every teacher I ever had. Many of them said “Heather, let’s give someone else a turn to talk.” One of them said…

“There is a reason you have two ears and only one mouth.”

I remember thinking “But my mouth is bigger than both my ears.” I didn’t want to give her an obvious invitation to call me a bigmouth, so I let it go. I hope to think I am somewhat reformed now. I seriously make an effort to listen more and talk less! It is all about being “Attentive” and we define it this way:

“I watch and listen carefully. I am not forgetful, distracted or distracting and I don’t ignore or interrupt.”

Mother Comforting Son

This is what my teachers and parents were looking for in me when I was growing up. This is what we ask of our children because it is how they show honor. In the same way, we honor our children and earn their trust by being attentive to them. Without attentiveness we cannot steward this amazing gift that God has entrusted to us.

To be attentive sometimes we have to get creative. We have to make opportunities to get to know our kids as they are changing and growing through adolescence. We have to become a student of our own children even when they aren’t talking. We must learn by watching as much as by listening. Here are some tips:

Prepare yourself first. Set boundaries on your phone and computer time. Relax. Breathe. Give the cares and pressures of your day to the Lord so that you can focus on what is going on around you. Take time to look your kids in the eye when they talk to you, and really listen. Don’t be easily distracted when they ramble on and on with a story. This is VERY important to your kids especially when they are in those tweener years. You communicate that they are important by being attentive.
Take them on dates. They don’t have to be expensive, just personal. If you have ever watched the movie “Courageous” you will see an excellent example of this. It is amazing what one-on-one time will do for a relationship!
Get to know your kids’ friends. Invite them over to your house…especially at dinner time. Watch them! Ask them embarrassing questions like “What sports do you like? Who’s your favorite team? Why do you like hanging around with my kid? What kind of fun things do you do together? Stuff like that.
My husband has done a great job with this genius way of getting our kids to talk to him. He plays video games, he jams on the guitar, shoots hoops, and they wash the car together.

There isn’t much talking, but there is a connection in case something needs to be said. I love that.

I like to ask questions and encourage my kids to ask me questions (I have to keep the answer short and to the point or our conversation quickly turns into a monologue). If you do this and it doesn’t work, that’s ok, just do it again the next day and the next. After a while, they will realize that you aren’t going away and they will start to open up. My personal favorite place is in the car. They are captives! My youngest son has hopped in the backseat and said

“Mom, do you have any questions for me?”

You might have a child who never stops talking one minute, and seems to have lost their first language and adopted a grunting dialect the next. This is normal apparently. A lady once told me that parents should take most grunts as a “Yes”

Mom: Did you have a good day?
Son: Grunt
Mom: Well, I’m glad to hear it! Is there anything you want to add?

Just because they say less, doesn’t mean they have less to say.

One good way to be more attentive is to limit “screen time”. Even when our kids are teens, it is easy to let the TV (or some equivalent) babysit them. Screens contribute to lazy parenting! We need to see our kids interacting with their siblings, talking to their friends, helping around the house, playing actual games, and riding in the car “unplugged”. Relating with our kids in scenarios like these give us the opportunity as parents to parent. It might be quieter in the house when they are focused on a screen, but this is false peace. Real peace comes when we are attentive to the true condition of our children’s hearts and we partner with God to see them transformed.

Raising our children to reflect the character of Christ is the goal. Without conflict and pressure, we will never have it.

Another great (though sometimes a little vulnerable) way to be attentive it to ask another adult “How is my son doing in your class? I mean, really. I want to know your thoughts”. Children have a way of camouflaging themselves in an environment and adapting to the authority in any given situation, so you don’t have the full perspective on your own child. In a different situation, with different pressures or relationships, your child may react differently. You need the eyes and ears of other adults who relate to your child in a way you do not. I have had opportunities to learn some pretty amazing things about my kids from their coaches, teachers, pastors, and the parents of my kids’ friends. Sometimes it is wonderful news, sometimes hard, sometimes just simply eye-opening. No matter how it makes us feel, we must choose to welcome it.

We thank them for caring enough to share with us a side of our kids we can’t see.

Being attentive means we can’t let what society says get in our heads. They say our kids need their privacy, their personal space. Kids know that you have the authority to give them house rules, homework rules, and moral boundaries, but at an earlier and earlier age children are encouraged by society to start keeping secrets from their parents and insist it is their right to say “Get out! That’s private! How dare you?” This is especially true with the most important things in their lives; their phone, their friends, and their choice of music and reading material. Don’t let anyone tell you that matters of your child’s heart are none of your business and you only need to know on a need-to-know basis. Trust me, you need to know! At our house, our kids know that we can go in their room and look around. We can open their backpacks or purse. We know their passwords and their friends’ parents. Nothing is off limits. That is what being a parent is! If we are “not allowed” to be attentive, we cannot parent!

Yes. You need to know.

It is rarely convenient; the moment when the flood gates open. I think the best times we ever have talking to our teens are at night when Elton and I are almost asleep and they stop by to say goodnight. They end up pouring out their hearts well past my bedtime and it is priceless. I stay awake for every precious word. Half way through I might get up and make popcorn for everybody and sit back against my pillow for scene two. My husband and I both learn so much! We grow as parents. I just sit there fiercely suppressing my yawns and praying that I will answer with wisdom.

While I listen to my child with one ear, I listen to God with the other.

There. The reason for two ears!

PS. No joking, my 15 year-old just asked me to watch him play soccer in the back yard, and when I complained that it would be too cold (the sun has gone down and it is still winter in Oregon!) he offered to build me a fire. He is standing behind me waiting for me to complete this post. I enjoyed writing about being attentive, now it’s time to go do it!