Posted on Sunday, March 10, 2013

Books about being Helpful

The Berenstain Bears: Lend a Helping Hand by Stan Berenstain and Jan Berenstain

Let Your Light Shine: A story about Helping Others by Ron Berry and Chris Sharp

The Giving Book: Open the Door to a Lifetime of Giving by Ellen Sabin

The Berenstain Bears: Think of Those in Need by Stan Berenstain and Jan Berenstain

Lend a Hand (Be Your Best) by Apryl Lundsten, Carrie Anton and Lisa Wilber

Tiger and Mouse: The Gift of Helping Others – Volume 1 by Theodore Allen Lightfoot, Julia H. Young, Elizabeth Armstrong and Phillip Armstrong

Real Kids, Real Stories, Real Change: Courageous Actions Around the World by Garth Sundem

Helping Others: The Golden Rule: The Fantastic Adventures of Terry and Andrew by Reggie Read

Lemonade: and Other Poems Squeezed from a Single Word by Bob Raczka and Nancy Doniger

Tsunami: Helping Each Other by Ann Morris and Heidi Larson

Whale Tails: Adventure Two: Helping Others by P.J. Victor, Alan Berglund and Josh McGill

The Berenstain Bears Help the Homeless By: Jan Berenstain, Mike Berenstain

This list was compiled by Sherry Andrew (the mother of Heather McMillan, creator of We Choose Virtues)

If you know of more books and stories that would make a good addition to this list, please leave your ideas in the comments, we will check them out and add the to the list with our THANKS!

Posted on Sunday, March 10, 2013

Books about being Honest

I’m Telling the Truth: A First Look at Honesty (First Look at Books)

~ By Pat Thomas

Children are shown that although being honest can be hard sometimes, it is worth it. Everyone likes people who speak the truth and keep their word. Kids learn that when we all practice being honest, the world becomes a fairer and happier place to live in. Titles in the popular “A First Look At” series for pre-school and early-grades kids explore emotional issues, encouraging children to discuss things that bother them with trusted adults. The series also helps them begin to develop basic social skills. Written by a psychotherapist and child counselor, these books promote positive interaction among children, parents, and teachers. They are written in easy-to-comprehend language, and have child-friendly illustrations on every page.

The Berenstain Bears and the Truth

~ By Stan Berenstain and Jan Berenstain

When Brother and Sister Bear accidentally break Mama’s favorite lamp, their little lie grows bigger and bigger, until Papa Bear helps them find the words that set everything right again.

Ruthie and the (Not So) Teeny Tiny Lie

~ By Laura Rankin

Ruthie loves little things–the smaller, the better. When she finds a teeny tiny toy on the school playground, she can hardly believe her luck. There’s just one problem: it belongs to somebody else! Ruthie insists the toy is hers, but deep down, she knows better. How could one little toy turn into such a great big problem?

What Do You Stand For? For Kids: A Guide to Building Character

~ By Barbara A. Lewis

Even elementary school children can build positive character traits like caring, citizenship, cooperation, courage, fairness, honesty, respect, and responsibility. The true stories, inspiring quotations, thought-provoking dilemmas, and activities in this book help kids grow into capable, moral teens and adults. Previously titled Being Your Best, this award-winning book has a fresh new cover and updated resources.

Knowing and Doing What’s Right: The Positive Values Assets (The Adding Assets Series for Kids)

~ By Pamela Espeland amd Elizabeth Verdick

Kids learn how to build the six Positive Values assets: Caring, Equality and Social Justice, Integrity, Honesty, Responsibility, and Healthy Lifestyle. Stories, tips, and ideas help them to make good choices and build positive character traits.

Little Abraham Learns a Lesson in Honesty: Honesty (American Virtues for Kids: Honesty) [Board Book]

~ By David Mead

Publication Date: January 2004 | Age Range: 4 and up | Series: American Virtues for Kids: Honesty. BOARD BOOK

Honest Abe Lincoln: Easy-to-read Stories About Abraham

~ By David A. Adler

Born into humble beginnings, Abraham Lincoln lived in a log cabin and helped run the family farm. Later he became a store clerk, postmaster, and lawyer. People liked Abe’s funny stories and kind words, and he quickly earned a reputation for his honesty, which he brought with him all the way to the White House. Newly independent readers will relish this straightforward story of the life of an American Hero.

10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids: 52 Fun and Simple Games and Activities to Teach Your Child Honesty, Trust, Love, and Other Important Values

~ By Jamie C. Miller

52 playful and easy to understand activities to help parents teach children moral lessons that they won’t forget. A child says, “I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand.” 10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids is a book about seeing and doing–a book that gives parents the ability to teach the powerful principles of honesty, trust, generosity, love, and other values. Children will discover the objectives themselves as they actively participate in fun games and activities. The games can be done in any order, with very little planning and with very few supplies–just common objects most people have around the house like toothpicks, string, pennies, or an apple. Some can be done while riding in the car, and others can be expanded to fill a whole evening with family fun. The activities in 10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids will not only create cozy and enjoyable moments of family togetherness, they will have a lasting impact on your growing child.

Big Whopper (Zigzag Kids)

~ By Patricia Reilly Giff

The author of the beloved Kids of the Polk Street School series introduces a new generation of readers to a multicultural group of kids who enjoy all the activities of an after-school center. It’s Discovery Week at the Zigzag Afternoon Center! Everyone writes their discoveries on a big sheet of paper in the hallway. But Destiny Washington can’t think of anything new to discover. Before she knows it, Destiny has told a BIG whopper. And snooty Gina, who’s great at discovering things, knows all about it. Destiny has to find a way out of the whopper. In the end, she makes the best discovery of all. In this delightful new series, award-winning author Patricia Reilly Giff introduces readers to a quirky, lovable group of kids, capturing all the excitement and surprises of new friends and after-school fun.

Max and the Big Fat Lie: A Book About Telling the Truth (Building Christian Character)

~ By Michael P. Waite

Max feels bad after he lies to his mother in order to see a scary movie. Includes a related Bible verse.

Treasury of Virtues: Courage, Love, Honesty

~ By Jennifer Boudart

Twenty well known childhood stories, each with a message about virtues. If you have small children and you want to impress upon them the importance of being virtuous, then this book is recommend.

Penny and Her Marble

~ By Kevin Henkes

When Penny spots a marble in Mrs. Goodwin’s front yard, she picks it up, puts it in her pocket, and takes it home. It’s a beautiful marble—it’s big, shiny, blue, smooth, and fast, and Penny loves it. But does the marble really belong to Penny?

Whitney Solves a Dilemma with Solomon, and Learns the Importance of Honesty

~ By Therese Johnson Borchard

Whitney would do anything to get to soccer practice, even copy a friend’s homework so she won’t have to waste time on boring Math herself. But what was supposed to be a one-time solution becomes a habit. Copying homework leads to copying a quiz–and getting caught. The teacher’s demand for a confession on who was cheating from whom puts the girls’ friendship on the line. Whitney turns to Nana’s Emerald Bible for help and gets sent back in time to King Solomon’s court. The uncanny wisdom of the king and the “wisdom” of the strange foreign girl are tested when two women come to court, both claiming to be mother of the same child. Whitney offers a solution to the king, who in turn tells Whitney what she must do in her own situation to at last make things right with both her friend and her teacher.

I Repeat, Don’t Cheat!

~ By Margery Cuyler

Jessica and her best friend Lizzie do everything together. But when Lizzie starts copying words from Jessica’s spelling test, Jessica knows it isn’t right. Then Jessica tries to help Lizzie write a poem for their homework, but Lizzie takes credit for it in class! Jessica doesn’t want to lose her friend, but she can’t take it anymore. What should she do? With simple text and engaging illustrations, young readers will relate to Jessica’s latest worry—and they’ll have a great example to follow after they see how Jessica handles her problem.

Jared and Joshua’s Whopper

~ By Alan Portmann

Author Alan Portmann uses humor, imagination, and wit in Jared and Joshua’s Whopper, telling the tale of two young brothers who exaggerate circumstances to a new level of storytelling to avoid the truth about why they were all wet to their momma. 32 pages, paperback.

Honesty (Adventures in Odyssey Life Lessons) [Audiobook, CD] [Audio CD]

This collection of previously released episodes is a great way to introduce new listeners to the characters and the early days of Adventures in Odyssey at the low price of only $5.99 each! Collect them all! Each volume features three exciting, action-packed stories. Bible stories, character-building adventures, and historical events are all fair game for object lessons in living.

30 Very Veggie Devos about Honesty (Big Idea Books / VeggieTales) [Paperback]

~ Big Idea (Creator)

This list was compiled by Sherry Andrew (the mother of Heather McMillan, creator of We Choose Virtues)

If you know about more books and stories that would make a good addition to this list, please leave your ideas in the comments, we will check them out and add the to the list with our THANKS!

Posted on Sunday, March 10, 2013

The Reason for Two Ears (Thoughts for parents about being Attentive)

I am one of those lovely people who like to talk. This was confirmed by both parents and every teacher I ever had. Many of them said “Heather, let’s give someone else a turn to talk.” One of them said…

“There is a reason you have two ears and only one mouth.”

I remember thinking “But my mouth is bigger than both my ears.” I didn’t want to give her an obvious invitation to call me a bigmouth, so I let it go. I hope to think I am somewhat reformed now. I seriously make an effort to listen more and talk less! It is all about being “Attentive” and we define it this way:

“I watch and listen carefully. I am not forgetful, distracted or distracting and I don’t ignore or interrupt.”

Mother Comforting Son

This is what my teachers and parents were looking for in me when I was growing up. This is what we ask of our children because it is how they show honor. In the same way, we honor our children and earn their trust by being attentive to them. Without attentiveness we cannot steward this amazing gift that God has entrusted to us.

To be attentive sometimes we have to get creative. We have to make opportunities to get to know our kids as they are changing and growing through adolescence. We have to become a student of our own children even when they aren’t talking. We must learn by watching as much as by listening. Here are some tips:

Prepare yourself first. Set boundaries on your phone and computer time. Relax. Breathe. Give the cares and pressures of your day to the Lord so that you can focus on what is going on around you. Take time to look your kids in the eye when they talk to you, and really listen. Don’t be easily distracted when they ramble on and on with a story. This is VERY important to your kids especially when they are in those tweener years. You communicate that they are important by being attentive.
Take them on dates. They don’t have to be expensive, just personal. If you have ever watched the movie “Courageous” you will see an excellent example of this. It is amazing what one-on-one time will do for a relationship!
Get to know your kids’ friends. Invite them over to your house…especially at dinner time. Watch them! Ask them embarrassing questions like “What sports do you like? Who’s your favorite team? Why do you like hanging around with my kid? What kind of fun things do you do together? Stuff like that.
My husband has done a great job with this genius way of getting our kids to talk to him. He plays video games, he jams on the guitar, shoots hoops, and they wash the car together.

There isn’t much talking, but there is a connection in case something needs to be said. I love that.

I like to ask questions and encourage my kids to ask me questions (I have to keep the answer short and to the point or our conversation quickly turns into a monologue). If you do this and it doesn’t work, that’s ok, just do it again the next day and the next. After a while, they will realize that you aren’t going away and they will start to open up. My personal favorite place is in the car. They are captives! My youngest son has hopped in the backseat and said

“Mom, do you have any questions for me?”

You might have a child who never stops talking one minute, and seems to have lost their first language and adopted a grunting dialect the next. This is normal apparently. A lady once told me that parents should take most grunts as a “Yes”

Mom: Did you have a good day?
Son: Grunt
Mom: Well, I’m glad to hear it! Is there anything you want to add?

Just because they say less, doesn’t mean they have less to say.

One good way to be more attentive is to limit “screen time”. Even when our kids are teens, it is easy to let the TV (or some equivalent) babysit them. Screens contribute to lazy parenting! We need to see our kids interacting with their siblings, talking to their friends, helping around the house, playing actual games, and riding in the car “unplugged”. Relating with our kids in scenarios like these give us the opportunity as parents to parent. It might be quieter in the house when they are focused on a screen, but this is false peace. Real peace comes when we are attentive to the true condition of our children’s hearts and we partner with God to see them transformed.

Raising our children to reflect the character of Christ is the goal. Without conflict and pressure, we will never have it.

Another great (though sometimes a little vulnerable) way to be attentive it to ask another adult “How is my son doing in your class? I mean, really. I want to know your thoughts”. Children have a way of camouflaging themselves in an environment and adapting to the authority in any given situation, so you don’t have the full perspective on your own child. In a different situation, with different pressures or relationships, your child may react differently. You need the eyes and ears of other adults who relate to your child in a way you do not. I have had opportunities to learn some pretty amazing things about my kids from their coaches, teachers, pastors, and the parents of my kids’ friends. Sometimes it is wonderful news, sometimes hard, sometimes just simply eye-opening. No matter how it makes us feel, we must choose to welcome it.

We thank them for caring enough to share with us a side of our kids we can’t see.

Being attentive means we can’t let what society says get in our heads. They say our kids need their privacy, their personal space. Kids know that you have the authority to give them house rules, homework rules, and moral boundaries, but at an earlier and earlier age children are encouraged by society to start keeping secrets from their parents and insist it is their right to say “Get out! That’s private! How dare you?” This is especially true with the most important things in their lives; their phone, their friends, and their choice of music and reading material. Don’t let anyone tell you that matters of your child’s heart are none of your business and you only need to know on a need-to-know basis. Trust me, you need to know! At our house, our kids know that we can go in their room and look around. We can open their backpacks or purse. We know their passwords and their friends’ parents. Nothing is off limits. That is what being a parent is! If we are “not allowed” to be attentive, we cannot parent!

Yes. You need to know.

It is rarely convenient; the moment when the flood gates open. I think the best times we ever have talking to our teens are at night when Elton and I are almost asleep and they stop by to say goodnight. They end up pouring out their hearts well past my bedtime and it is priceless. I stay awake for every precious word. Half way through I might get up and make popcorn for everybody and sit back against my pillow for scene two. My husband and I both learn so much! We grow as parents. I just sit there fiercely suppressing my yawns and praying that I will answer with wisdom.

While I listen to my child with one ear, I listen to God with the other.

There. The reason for two ears!

PS. No joking, my 15 year-old just asked me to watch him play soccer in the back yard, and when I complained that it would be too cold (the sun has gone down and it is still winter in Oregon!) he offered to build me a fire. He is standing behind me waiting for me to complete this post. I enjoyed writing about being attentive, now it’s time to go do it!

Posted on Sunday, March 10, 2013

Books about Being Attentive

God, I Need to Talk with You about Paying Attention

~ By: Dan Carr – More in God I Need to Talk to You About.. Series

Eagle Eyes: A Child’s Guide to Paying Attention

~ Jeanne Gehret MA

Learning To Slow Down & Pay Attention: A Book for Kids About ADHD

~ By Kathleen G Nadeau

Paying Attention

~ by Daniel Osborne

The ABCs of Listening, Paying Attention, and Getting Smarter

~ By Deborah Alexandra

How to Do Homework Without Throwing Up (Laugh And Learn)

~ By Trevor Romain

This list was compiled by Sherry Andrew (the mother of Heather McMillan, creator of We Choose Virtues)

If you know about more books and stories that would make a good addition to this list, please leave your ideas in the comments, we will check them out and add the to the list with our THANKS!